its funny how things happen
not too long ago i was called an assassin (by john mayer) by someone
i hadnt heard the song so i went and picked it up
i realized that maybe
maybe at one point that was me
but the actual story......
yeah it was true.

i fell
HARD
for that one
she made me cry
and not like in my room with the lights off
the middle of the day
the middle of campus
im sitting at a picnic table
crying
telling a friend everything
at that point i should have licked my wounds and walked
hell, i even tried
but it was only half hearted
we ended up going back and forth
after i allowed her to end a relationship i was in
which in turn put me on the outs with my circle of friends
dont get me wrong they were still friends but because of the circumstances
there was no way that i could really hang with them again.

we ended because she all of the sudden didnt know what she wanted
it was really about WHO she wanted
her ex came back into the picture
i
i never really wanted to let her go
but i couldnt fight
if she wasnt going to
she fought
but it was more
of a half hearted
attempt to keep
me within arms
reach
so i pushed
and
pushed
trying to break away
she would pull
just enough to keep me

so i found myself
with very few friends
not alot of possessions
and a year of misery and heart ache

today im still trying to figure out
what to do
i cant go back
but im having problems moving foward