Digress

i may have been a little rough on the students at this university on my last entry. after i thought about it, the students here represent the community as a whole. disconnected from the countries problem as long as it doesnt affect them. so i really should single out my fellow classmates.

i met someone yesterday, and after a brief conversation she said "im a lesbian." now she said this not so much matter-factly, but more as declaration. one of those 'lets see the reaction' type statements. as the conversation progressed she mentioned how much she enjoyed the company of a woman, being a heterosexual male i had to agree with her (even though i dont know what it would be like to be with a man) theres nothing like being with a woman. so we discussed the anatomy of the female body for a while, until she mentions that shes have problem with the "person" that shes seeing. now this peeked my interest, i know a couple homosexual women (none of which call themselves lesbians) and they dont like relationship. so most of their encounters are like the men i know, meet-sex-move on. so i was wondering if she was having the same troubles with women that i do.

we talked a little while longer and she made mention of the fact that they hadnt had sex. and she might have thought that it may have to do something with "his" religion. HIS? now at this point i was starting to get confused, because she had made reference to this person being mannish before but i had thought that maybe the woman is just the dominate type. so i finally asked "your dating a man?" because at this point in her story it might not have actually mattered if she was dating a man or woman, the problem could have occurred with either. but somewhere i had gotten lost and all i could think of "is she dating a man?". anyway she looks at me kind of strange and said "yes, hes an actual man." now my next question of course was going to be, if your a lesbian why are you dating a man. because isnt the definition of lesbian homosexual woman? so if you dated both would you still be a lesbian?

i kept my mouth shut. and she went on to tell about how he is controlling and whats everything his way, and shes tried of just making out...... at this point ive stopped trying to understand the whole lesbian dating a man thing and ive started focusing on the real problem at hand. WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS!!!!???? you dont know me, we just met a couple minutes ago.

anyway, i told her to figure out what she actually wanted from the relationship and tell him. if he couldnt give it to you move on. if you not getting anything out of the relationship why stay? right? right. then she started talking about how her best friend has started pulling away from her and is acting strange about the "lesbian dating a man" (her words, not mine) idea. now after she said it i felt that it was fair grounds, i had been thinking it but wasnt going to bring it up. so i ask her exactly what is with the lesbian-man thing. you just got through saying that nothing could replace the touch of a woman and the world would be a better place if all the women became gay. then you say that your tired of just making out with this guy and you wished he would go further because you like him so much. now im thinking about to get some real deep answer, you know like hes special or some long story about how he did this and did that. she looks at me and goes "yeah, and". yeah? and? wait you just went through all of that and the only answer you can come up with is "yeah, and"?

so i let her have it. i explained to her that the only reason she even tells people that she a lesbian is that she thinks that its some counter-culture that goes against the mainstream. hell half the women i know are either gay or bi. how much more main stream can you get? date who ever, what ever you want just stop trying to identify with something that your not.

man i hate people sometimes